How does a man deal with the fact that he's no longer attracted to his wife?

My wife has gained tons of weight over the years and I can hardly bear to look at her when she's naked anymore. Furthermore, she has no interest in losing weight, and to tell you truth, even if she did I can't see myself ever regaining any level of attraction I might've ever had for her. Once it's gone, it's gone. The image she currently displays is so engrained in my mind that I doubt I could ever shake it, even if she were to transform herself into a 36 - 24 - 36 beauty. What can I do? Does anyone have any advice for me? Sorry to say this, but I just don't see any hope here...How does a man deal with the fact that he's no longer attracted to his wife?
You should tell her how you feel, in the most tactful way, about her weight. I think if she did lose weight you might feel differently. What if she got a hot body again and came in your bedroom wearing a garter belt, stockings, and high heels?





Also, didn't you marry her for more than just her looks? I know looks are important, but your wife's supposed to be your best friend and partner in life, the one you've shared experiences with. Doesn't that count?





What about you? Do you look as hot as you did on your wedding night?How does a man deal with the fact that he's no longer attracted to his wife?
wow, sorryto say,but you may be right.. I always want to look good for my man, I want him to remember why he married me... You should have said something whenshe first started gaining weight... But Iknow it's hard to talk about some things...
often a spouse will join in the activity that you do, like jogging and so on. If they dont, then at least you get some good exercise with plenty of time alone to think out the best solution for you.
uhh... wow. that sucks... I think when your woman becomes a 36-24-36 and guys are starting to flock all over your woman your going to think twice about not having an attraction for her.





Also you should really tell her to lose weight. and if she says ';i thought you'll love me no matter how much i weight'; tell her I love you enough that I want to make this marriage work. Because honestly if she doesnt want to cooperate on making you attracted to her again it wont work you will look for someone else
what's a TON of weight to you? is she 500 pounds? or 150? maybe try getting her to lose weight for her HEALTH, not because you find her fat. did she have YOUR kids? cook YOUR meals? marriage is compromise. talk to her, and if you aren't the bastard you seem to be, maybe things will work out. how are you looking these days?
Hey, Larry. Well, please, did you marry her for her body alone? If that's all, then I guess you can't handle what she's like now. Don't you think there might be more to her unwillingness to lose weight? Many women turn to food for comfort or other psychological reasons. Maybe she's trying to subconsciously drive you away because she feels unworthy. You need to dig deeper, Larry. Outside beauty is skin deep, but inner beauty is the one that will last. Go find it.
I'm hot and even I know that the body is just something we use for a little while while we're on earth. If my partner were to be disfigured or worse, I'd still love him and be attracted to him because he is STILL HIM. He would be just as attractive to me because I fell in love with the PERSON, not the body. Please consider this then please consider counseling for her. She may have other troubles that are prohibiting weight loss that even she doesn't see. Good luck!
By being a real man and getting a divorce b4 he starts cheating. Listen the best thing you can do is tell her. But come on love is more than gaining a few extra pounds! It has to be more things than just the weight gain. I mean I totally understand if you are not feeling her anymore but this is not a gf this is oyur WIFE you are talking about. Do people look remember there vows anymore. I mean I think that if you don't think counseling could help then seek it. Also tell her about her weight b/c I can see how this can cause for you to be upset but not get a divorce. I say if you are completely unhappy then go ahead get divorced. But the way the world is now there is not a lot to offer out there so I hope you are not thinking about moving on b/c you want to experience new things and just get rid of her b/c of weight gain. I mean I am just a type of person that takes marriage very serious and I am a firm believer of trying to work things out. If you can work it out go for it. If you are absolutely unhappy get a divorce. I will agree with you on weight gain. I told me bf if he ever feel I am gaining to much tell me and I will do the same for him. I could never be with anyone that is not in shape and that can go out for a run with me. This is why you have to pick wisely in the beginning. And yes you never know the future but try to help the person b4 they get there.(too big)!
Just tell her how you feel and that you would like her to lose some wait.
Oh My. First she has to remember, the things she did to get you, is what she has to do to keep you. How about putting a workout program together and you guys workout together. You may be saying that now... give it a few months...when the weight starts falling off...you will be thankful and ready to jump her skin every chance you get. And if you dont I bet others will.
Have you told her your feelings? If you have already maybe you should ask your pastor/religious leader or a marriage counselor to see if they have any suggestions. I'm sorry about your predicament. It's funny you ask cause I just saw a movie where a man had the same feelings about his wife too (Tyler Perry's ';Why did I get married?';). Maybe you can try to work out together in a gym or at home as a couple so you'll both get in shape together so its fun for you both. Try to make loosing weight fun for her, maybe that's why she doesn't want to loose weight cause its hard. Or try to plan family activities that require excising without realizing it. These things might not only help her get back to shape but re-kindle your relationship at the same time. Hope it works out for you both.
Assuming YOU still look as young and fit as you did when she married you...many things can cause this to happen...child birth, surgery, depression, metabolism. And it doesn't help that she must realize you're no longer attracted. That hurts deeply...so would only add to the problem. Maybe you both should get counseling
Wow, that sucks. Not much to say if that's your feelings toward the situation. Give it your best shot, and food luck.
Everyone knows that marriage isn't just about looks. I think you're using this as an excuse to get out of your marriage.
It sounds to me like you've already made up your mind, and nothing is going to change it. You can either cope, or get a divorce.





Personally, I think everybody is beautiful in some way. Even quirks in appearance, such as love handles, a crooked nose, big ears... Those are endearing. They give people character. You don't want your wife to look like every other woman in the world, do you? Try looking for her endearing aspects. If you find something to love, the attraction will return...





Although, if you're willing to abandon your wife on looks alone, she isn't the woman for you. You obviously haven't made a personal or emotional connection, and you need to let her move on with her life, because you're obviously not the man for her either.





Also, next time you ask a question like that, keep your target audience in mind, because I'm pretty sure every woman that reads this (myself included) is probably offended on some level.





Your wife is not a piece of meat, she's a person.
well obviously you are crap in bed because if you looked after your wifes needs and maybe lasted longer than 2 mins youd both have a work out you would enjoy and there would be no opportunity to put on a few kilos here or there maybe the focus should be more on what you are doing to keep your wife happy so that she WANTS to look good for you?
you gotta walk that lonesome valley'' it says.
Honestly my husband was losing interest ( I think) I was 139 at 5'3 and now I am 125. I feel better about myself and I only did it when I was ready. He has paid more attention to me since then. She won't do it till she is ready. By the way 139 isn't huge. But it was to big for me personally and I am going to loose another 12 lbs. Not for him but for myself. You need to only have healthy things in the house and work together on your health.
Well, then you have answered your own question pretty much.. You were never in love with her from the beginning.. So, what is it going to hurt you if you get a divorce.. Nothing.. So, move on.. I am not going to give you grief over it.. I don't know your situation at home.. but, you must be unhappy in sex department and don't want to go to a therapist.. Leave her before you cheat on her.. That would be more horrible.. Atleast stay true to yourself..