confront him again, tell him that now he had sex y did he do it again? good luck n all the best wit baby xWhy oh why is porn such a big deal to men!?
It seems to me porn is a far bigger deal to you than it is to him.
Porn to men is what romance movies are to women.
My husband does it to. Wouldn't you rather him watch porn then cheat? Think of it that way. I say what the hell let him do it. More than likely even if he tells you he has stopped...he hasn't. Thats just one thing about men that us woman have to deal with if we decide to be in a relationship.
Relax, they are just movies. It doesnt mean he loves you any less. Its not real, its fantasy and he knows that. Its the fantasy part that he likes.
I know it might me hard for you. But men watch porn and masturbate. That can be said for the majority of us. This does not mean he does not love you or care about you any less.
Maybe you could watch it together? You might like it, and you can incorporate it into your love life?
Porn creates a fantasy world for men. Most women can't understand that. I certainly don't. I've found porn hidden in the weirdest places, and ya know what I do, I throw it away. Men want to be part of this fantasy world because in this world they would get everything they could want, sex without asking, among other sexual practices. Its a different thing for women. I don't get turned on by porn. My fantasy includes my partner, but to be honest, his fantasy includes me AND another women, lol. Its a man thing.
Because they are men.. Porn isn't that bad ..It's only bad if he has to watch it 24/7 or it's just messing up his marrage or something like that.I watch it with my boyfriend!
My husband had a big problem with this as well. He went to counseling and that helped him a little, then we found out he just needed to get out and party a little cause he never did before, now its not such a big problem for him anymore. He was addicted to it bad too, and he would lie about it all the time. Its getting better now, I hope it stays this way because I'm expecting my first in January and I don't want this to be a problem.
Ask him to go to counseling for it. Good luck.
So you're saying you don't watch porn? Just him? You never watch porn, not on cable, not on the computer, nowhere?
Maybe he has a high sex drive. Even though you had sex that morning doesn't mean that later that day he may not have urges to satisfy himself. If his drive is higher then he could either help himself or pester you, adding stress you don't want like already stated, or quietly, privately, seek other ways. I'm sure it would be more of a problem if he went looking elsewhere for sex, maybe porn isn't so bad, no infidelity, no mistrust if its open. hope this helps
Well most guys like watchin porn.......
and i think that if they have a partner
they shouldnt even be watchin them
when they could actually be doin it
with you but i mean guys want some
every day and cant stop maybe which
is why they want to have a ***** and
they watch those thingis.......well talk to him
and maybe he will actually listen but tell
him you mean it this time...good luck!!!
My ex told me he looked at porn because it was the only way that he could look at other women without me getting mad. Which in our situation was the truth and many times I watched it with him which after one night of watching ended up leading to us doing our own thing and now I'm almost 14wks pregnant. I think for alot of guys they feel it is ok because it's not cheating you can tell them but they dont' UNDERSTAND how it can make us feel, sometimes (when it seemed he was trying to hide it) it made me feel like I wasn't enough, but he didn't get it.
You could put a password on the computer and a parental control and stop his access that way. But in all honesty, you cant stop someone from watching these things if they dont want to. Men are just like that. Its the same as when they drive along in the car. they turn their head to look at women. But trust me its out of their head 2 seconds later. They dont even remember that they have looked. Lol.
I personally think its bothering you so much because of the condition that you are in and maybe feel a bit insecure incase he lookes at these things and you think he fancies you less. That is not the case.
Men are like kids sometimes, the more you forbid them to do something, the more they do it. Instead of worrying about what he is doing, why dont you concentrate about building up your low self esteme. Be confident in yourself and he will fancy you all the more.
Good luck with your baby. Hope everything goes well for you.
Let me tell you from plenty of experience. i used to do porn and i stop bc (well thats anothr story.)And i used to work in this adlut store and ppl that worked there used to say oh your man comes in here all the time to the arcade rooms where they play the movies and it's like a tv with different movies playing. that was embrassing. men are just very visual creatures and they need it. y i don't know. i can give him some of this goood good and he will get up the nxt moring on the computer doing his thig and we used to fight about it. i'm like why do that when you got me at home and i'm willing to give you some it makes no sense so i just don't give it to him as much. why should i. he's not going to stop but thas cool i don't have to give him any either and i'm prego and don't feel like it must of the time. it had been two weeks and i was like i'm still good and don't need any. when we first met i was givin him some like everyday doing everything and he was like it's too much i can't handle it but then your at the comeputer and the adult story and buying movies left and right. it's a little ove whelming. but it's okay i guess till now. i mena i like gurls to so my next relationship will not be with a man at all. well me next relationship will be with my child and then that comes last. good luck and just try to turn your head remember men and womem are different and thats just how it is. he was like that before you met him so it's not fair for you to make him change and be someone he's not. would you want hi do do that to you?he also told me that it easier to take car of his self and that doing it is more work. I thought guys wanted it all the time but not him.i want it all the time but i have just given up on him so when he comes at me wanting some i just brush him off.lol. i don't care anymore. i get it when i want it or i could always go somewhere eles but i don't think i would so i have to suffer sometimes. But i understand completly. e-mail me some times if you need to vent. jadegem_2002@yahoo.com and www.myspace.com/jadegem2002
I really don't know what to say.I am a man.This could be alittle more deeper than just he likes porn.If your relationship is good talk about it.Ask him if there was something traumatic in his life.communication is key.Please don't think it is something you did.Only he knows what the problem is and he might not even know he knows.So mabe talking to him directly about himself and I know you have said your feelings now make it about his feeling.Ask him how he would feel if the role was reversed.And honey Please Don't Stress You are Beautiful.
Porn can be a serious addiction! So I would address that with him.
Men are very visual and like that kind of stuff. As women it can make us feel very bad like they don't want us, but that is not the case.
Try this for your computer. It's Blue coat K-9 and it's a porn blocker and it's free. Every time he trys to get on a porn site it will block it.
YOu should address the issue though because he will find other ways to watch and it sounds like he has a problem.
goodluck
I asked my husband the same thing after I found site after site of it on our computer and believe me when I say that he gets it more than probably all of his friends together.
I had a suspicion when he became very secretive with his log-in (we each have our own user accts). One day I was working from home trying to download a file and I found a file that had about 200 pictures of naked women in it. I confronted him about it and demanded that he give me his login information and I found all of the sites.
So in the end, I gave him the choice that either he stops (I do check regularly) or I was leaving. Now, I can't stop him from doing it at work, which I'm sure he does but at least I know he's not doing it in MY home where our children are.
I told him I felt almost as if he was cheating on me and that if he was happy sexually at home he wouldn't feel the need to do that. Tell your husband how it makes you feel and if he's at all understanding then he won't do it or at least not at home where you can see it. Like they say...out of site out of mind. This may not help you but at least you know that it's not just your husband thats doing it.
me and my hubby have been through the same thing time and time again. not thats porn is aweful but it just makes me feel like im not good enough for him... i have told him that a million times! i usually found it on my computer when i wo9uld have to work late at the hospital. he would always say i ';wasnet there, and he was horney'; it makes me mad when people say '; its better than him cheating on you'; well.. he better not cheat! lol dont get me wrong i use to watch porn and ';play with myself'; but it stopped when i committed myself to a relationship.
one night i treatend to leave if i found it again.
then i decided maybe he wasent getting sex enough so i make it a point to have sex at least 4 times a week sometimes more... sometimes less. and i havent seen porn on my computer since! lol guys prolly dont see it as a big deal but girls do, and most of us always will, you just gotta find ways to comprimise i guess.
anyway good luck =]
No comments:
Post a Comment