Partner and miscarriage where can I find help?

I was wondering where I can find help for a man dealing with a miscarriage. I was suprised at his reaction as none of us knew I was pregnant until I lost it after getting abdominal pains only a couple of weeks. But his beliefs are different to mine, he's really upset and I don't know how to help because I'm terrified I won't have children and I'm on edge myself. Are there any helplines specifically for men?





Wasn't sure of the category to put it inPartner and miscarriage where can I find help?
Im very sorry for your loss. See if you can get him in to mental health somewhere and yougo too. This is very hard to deal with. If not ,talk talk talk talk talk. I mean it, it helps!!!


I know this sound weird but you can get a tree to plant outside and name your baby and tie the name on the tree. That helps with loss.





Don't worry you will have children. I had 4 miscarriages and had to take meds with both my kids to get them to full term.





I hope all this helps, and again so sorry for your loss.








-melPartner and miscarriage where can I find help?
No he is not a bad man and I cannot understand why some one would say that. Good luck and your welcome. If you need any more info please email me.








-mel

Report Abuse

First of all, I'm sorry for both of you! I think if you went to a doctor, or hospital, there would be some kind of support group for both of you. It's actually a bereavement group that he could use, because he is suffering from a loss.
Have him talk to his pastor, priest or cleryman. They have a lot of training in these areas, they are very accessable, understanding and probably free.
The common answer that you will probably get is ';Man up!';.





The truth of the matter is that there are support groups for this kind of thing- depending on the city in which you live. Call your OBGYN and ask, they'll direct you in the proper way.





As far as what you can do is nothing. 1. Because YOU have gone through a traumatic experience too. 2. Talking to him about his fears and concerns only allows him to take zero accountability in the relationship. He needs to be there for YOU. He can sort himself out on his own, share his feelings with you when he is ready, but to think that YOU would have to do anything is crazy. He is lucky to have someone as caring as you.





Get yourself together, heal emotionally as well as physically and then move on together. Don't worry about the future, make sure to grow from this experience. Its a tough thing you have had to deal with, and together you will make it through. What is meant to be will be, and I wish you the best for your future, but do NOT for one second allow for a selfish man (we're all selfish you know) to wallow in his own crap at the risk of his not being present for YOU. Daddies are important, Mommies are irreplaceable.
I don't know of support groups specifically for men, but you might try The Compassionate Friends, an international support group for families who have lost children at any age from any cause, with US headquarters in Illinois and local chapters throughout the US. They do have an on-line chat room just for men. They also have a number of resources and other sites for a variety of help.





Your partner's reaction is unusual in that men don't often accept a fetus as a ';real'; child because they can't feel its presence like you can. It's heartening that he is so upset. Prayers and kind thoughts for both of you. God bless.





And this was the perfect category.
Maybe he could try something such as the caring pregnancy centers around, they should be able to talk to him and help out. Sorry for your loss. I've been there also.