How does a man deal with his mother (81) who hates his meeting his ex-wife?

Well, the couple had a tumltous married life of 15 years. Then they had a friendly divorce.





The only reason for the divorce was, that the wife could never get along with her inlaws, including the man's widowed mother. The mother being under treatment the man cannot and would not give up his responsibility towards her.





Divorce resolved this only problem between them, and the divorced couple (having nowhere else to go for another relationship) agreed to remain friends, meet occassionally, and even invest as partners through their joint bank account.





The mom, who has a good memory for all the bad times she had with her daughter-in-law, cannot tolerate her son seeing his ex-wife 'who inflicted so much pain on the family'.





If the man insists on having his way, the mom goes into a phase of depression, which adversely affects her health.





Well the man loves his freedom to see his ex-wife, he sees nothing wrong in it, and he loves his mom. How would you deal with the situationHow does a man deal with his mother (81) who hates his meeting his ex-wife?
Well, Mom is 81 years old, so all in all, her health hasn't been too bad. I'm not making light of your devotion to her, but you deserve a life, and she's manipulated you long enough. Continue your good relationship with your ex, continue to love your mother, but tell her gently but firmly this is the way it is going to be. She's an adult, she'll have to deal with it.How does a man deal with his mother (81) who hates his meeting his ex-wife?
He should tell his mother that he loves and respects her...but it is his life and he will do as he wishes....
You have to live your own life. Do what makes you happy. Your mom has lived her life already and she can't live yours for you. You have to explain to her how you feel and just live. You can please some of the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time.
sounds like mom is manipulative and jealous of the attention from another woman. kinda sick to me. the son should have told the mom if she really loved him she should have been happy for him instead of playing with his head. did the wife give her in-law reasons to dislike her. i would question the healthiness of the so called love between the son and mother. the son does not have to lie or tell his mother all of his business.. he is grown and should not feel like he should have to sacrifice his happiness to appease his mother. love is not about control, abuse is.
Time to cut the apron strings, dontcha think? he's kinda old to still be Mommy's Good Little Boy.





Mom is playing the Sympathy card inorder to lay a Guilt trip on Sonny-Boy. He's too old for Mom to dictate or manipulate him as far as who he sees socially...





The Son should have a nice long talk with Mom's primary care physician, outlining the situation and asking bluntly if both the 'depression' and the subsequent health issue are genuine....if they are then the next time the depression over the ex daughter-in-law occurs Mom should be put into the capable hands of a psychiatric therapist, who, along with a psychiatrist are the only ones who can treat a real depression....if the depressions occur only when Sonny-Boy is seeing the ex-wife,and end as soon as the ex is no longer in the picture, well that is not a real depression, Mom is playing manipulation and the Son shouldn't enable the behavior...so when Mom gets depressed over the Ex, offer to take her for psychiatric intervention...if she snaps out of it or becomes dramatic, angry, accusatory, etc, then it's not a real depression....Good Luck.