OK guys... Do you think this is true?... Has our society dealt men a ';bad hand'; in the relationship card game?

Has our society subconsciously delt men, a ';bad hand'; in the relationship card game? How has this led men to sharply categorize women?





They met at Starbucks, made flirty small talk, and exchanged numbers. On their first date a few days later, she invited him back to her place鈥攁ppropriately enough, for coffee. He'd barely removed his jacket when she slammed the door and pounced. ';Is this just about sleeping together?'; (He thought), because he was putatively looking for a good time鈥?right?鈥?But was he in reality seeking a relationship?





He was no longer the hunter, but the hunted.





After that tryst his interest dropped quickly and steeply. But why? An opportunity to have unencumbered ';one night stand'; is what men want 鈥攔ight? Is it an unconscious want/need which all men pursue?





What about the women you ask? Well, women throughout history have made strategic decisions to become physical quickly, and to couple with multiple males. That said, the blunt truth is that hooking up is a mistake when a woman's goal is finding a long-term relationship; men tend not to marry women they label promiscuous. But in fact there are many reasons a woman might opt to hook up, not all are about immediate gratification. So in short women adapt to the envioriment and/or the man they are with, this is an unkowning adaptation that dates back to the begining of time, like most fundamental human behaviors, there are trade-offs that would have made female promiscuity a viable strategy in many cases throughout human history.





A harsh and unpromising environment (say, few available resources and fewer good men) might warrant tenuous liaisons with several men rather than a single connection to an unreliable man. Anthropologist Sarah Blaffer Hrdy has argued that such environments鈥攗ncertain provisions for a woman and her progeny鈥攅ncouraged women to have a mixed strategy





Under most circumstances, men are the wooers, and if their wooing is too easy they are prone to unwittingly discount a woman's value. A man may not even realize he will ultimately penalize a woman for giving him the very thing he pressures her for. The fact that his judgment is unconscious, makes it no less damning.





But, some men are exceptions in that they're able to overcome the biases with which nature has encumbered them with. Some men truly aren't judgmental. But the average guy will tend to dichotomize women quickly and unconsciously: She's a whore if she sleeps with him too soon (or with too many people he knows)....she's blonde she is stupid, she's a virgin then she's nieve or timid, she looks or acts like she has money/wealth... then she's a *****. Granted not all men think this, but the majority do.





A man's judgments often reflect his assessment of himself as much as of the woman. A man with low self-esteem may be particularly biased against a woman who sleeps with him quickly, because he thinks other (better) men will have even easier access to her. The Groucho Marxist doctrine taps into this thinking: Any woman who would have me must be pretty desperate.





In the contemporary world, promiscuity takes the form not just of surreptitious couplings with multiple partners; rather, it consists of liaisons with no commitments desired. ';Virtually everyone wants a traditional romantic relationship at some point. However, that's not necessarily a comfortable decision'; says Justin Garcia of the Laboratory of Evolutionary Anthropology and Health at Binghamton University in New York.





Even in a hookup, Garcia has found, people are still frequently looking for a relationship鈥攊n fact, about half the time. And men and women do so equally. Garcia observes that courting鈥攕ay, dinner and a movie鈥攎ay be dying in the high-tech instant-gratification world we live in.





The problem is that many men may unknowingly look to hookups as potential long-term relationships, their psychological makeup pushes them to unconsciously discount their partner as a prospect. So hookups become especially tricky to navigate, despite the fact that they're increasingly socially acceptable.





Metropolitan surroundings provide vast opportunities to hook up. But our emotional reactions to these options have not evolved much.





Being judgmental about promiscuity is an emotional pitfall evolution has handed men. Sidestepping it might be easier when men know what they're up against. Men certainly don't have to derive morals from biology, but they are well served by consciously knowing their biases, so they can decide more rationally.





http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=20081027-000005%26amp;page=1OK guys... Do you think this is true?... Has our society dealt men a ';bad hand'; in the relationship card game?
Norms change too fast in this quickly evolving world.


The only ones with the ';bad hand'; are those incapable of adapting.


Apathy helps a lot.OK guys... Do you think this is true?... Has our society dealt men a ';bad hand'; in the relationship card game?
Who cares?





Society can behave however it wants, and can expect whatever, that doesn't change or affect who I choose to be, (or any other guy, for that matter).





The antithesis of the above article is a book called ';BLINK';, I think you might find it insightful.











Luck
Holy cow i can't read it all!
wttffff!!!????? i'm not about to read all of this ****!!!! so srry...
Not a guy, but i think some of that is true. However, i don't think all guys subconsciously look to hookups for serious relationships. I think many guys specifically hookup just for the sake of unattached hooking up. If they were honestly looking for a relationship, subconsciously or otherwise, they would not be so quick to run when the woman makes an attempt to redefine the boundaries of their relationship and turn things towards a serious path.





I don't agree that women have become more promiscuous due to the value of men in general decreasing. Fooling around with multiple somewhat unreliable men as opposed to committing themselves to one unreliable man may just be the source of wanting more sexually that that one man could give her. It may be the result of wanting to increase the amount of material wealth she possesses. It could be that she's just bored with one man but bound to him for whatever reason (marriage and kids) and decides to resort to having various affairs. So to say that THAT is the only reason women have become promiscuous is an asinine assumption to make.





And yes hooking up early on is a mistake to anyone looking for a serious relationship. Everyone knows that one.
who cares?





All I believe, is that women think they know what men want, but really do not which punishes the men who are actually looking for a real relationship and rewards the ones who just want the one night stand. And men will accept that they do not know what women want but women will expect them to know what it is that they want.

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